How I Work

My Approach

Hands-on, neuroscience-grounded work that changes how you connect — built on five of the most respected relational trainings in the field:

  • PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) — Stan Tatkin. Certified Level 1 and Level 2, with ongoing weekly consultation
  • Relational Life Therapy (RLT) — Terry Real
  • Imago Relationship Therapy — Harville Hendrix
  • Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT) — David Mars, Ph.D.
  • Somatic Experiencing–informed — Peter Levine

It's not a communication problem

You're not fighting each other. You're both up against the same survival wiring — a nervous system built for survival, not relational harmony — and you can learn to work with it together. The moment your brain's threat-detection system fires, the prefrontal cortex you rely on for clear thinking goes largely offline. That's why the advice you already know disappears in the heat of the moment.

Insight doesn't change a relationship. New experiences do, repeated over time. So the work is experiential: we don't just talk about your patterns, we work with them live, in the room, until a different response becomes available to you.

Repair, not perfection

The goal isn't fewer fights — some couples thrive with plenty of conflict. What matters is the ability to repair well when it happens, and to keep deepening connection over time. In most conflicts, both partners have an opportunity to take responsibility and lead the way, even if the other hasn't yet. You don't have to keep score of who went first.

The whole system

How you sleep, move, eat, and who you're surrounded by all shape your capacity to stay regulated and available to each other. I take those seriously as part of the work — not as lifestyle advice, but as the ground your relationship stands on.

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